Sometimes I feel like I’m starting a new post called Teresa is a weekly idiot because every week I have to go to this web page here and tell you all that it’s dumber than not being able to make ice cubes because you lost the recipe. What’s crazy is I think she was so dumb before she was good for the show. It made for some fun arguments and a bit of comedy. However, as she became the alpha of the group, less worried that they could do this program here without her, it became detrimental. Now, I only like watching this when she’s not there to drag us all down below her hair.
This is on full display during the second half of the fight between her and Margaret at the ropes course, which they can’t even finish because Teresa has such a tantrum. We briefly explain why the fight started, with Jen coming out and saying that after Jackie and Teresa’s fight at the start of last season, Teresa called her and said, “Who do we know in Tenafly.” Jennifer called Serena the Mystical and Unseen, and it was the digging she was accused of and took the fall for when it was all Teresa’s instigation.
Because it raises the specter of Teresa talking about Jackie and Jackie using an analogy of how Gia does drugs, Teresa has to question everything that happened in the last year. “If she didn’t want to hurt me, shouldn’t she have said it was an analogy?” asks Therese. No, Therese. That’s not how language works. Maybe for her, because she can’t grasp simple sentences and has to explain: “That was a joke. Ha. Ha.” No one else does, and all the women say you should know where there’s an analogy. But Teresa doesn’t, and since it’s her stage, we have to engage in verbal gymnastics. , linguistics and logic just to keep his train simple on the monorail.
Her other problem is that she just can’t figure out that Margaret and Traci bringing up the allegations against Luis aren’t the same ones making those allegations. Teresa says Margaret says Luis is violent. “No,” Margaret told him. “All the exes say that.” It’s the ultimate read, but it’s also over Teresa’s head as the ropes course instructor who decided to eat her bologna sandwich in the treetops, far from the splash zone. of this fight.
Teresa thinks these women are trying to burst her “love bubble” when they aren’t the ones finding these things. Either the women come forward or the journalists dig this up and make it public. The women just ask about these things that happen in the press, things that Teresa should be concerned about. It’s like a dog shit on the carpet and Margaret asks Teresa, “Hey, what about that pile of shit?” And Teresa accuses Margaret of dumping her in the lobby.
Teresa seems to want to have her love bubble but doesn’t want to face the consequences of being a public figure and trying to have a love life. Yeah I understand. It’s hard to put it all out there for our amusement. But she could also, I don’t know, try to find a boyfriend who doesn’t set off as many alarms as a California wildfire. If he didn’t have any disgruntled exes he may have abused, shady business connections, and crazy videos proposing on a beach to find, then no one would be able to talk and talk about it. Maybe the problem isn’t the women or the press, but, uh, Luis. That’s the problem with the love bubble. In that case, I think it’s worth skipping.
Teresa then confesses that she didn’t even want to be there, but then leaves everyone some clothes from her new workout line to wear at the next event so she can make even more money. . She even has the audacity to text Marge and Traci the eight minutes you wait for another life on Candy Crush to make sure they give her a free sponcon at their next event, even though she was so rude to them, even the poison oak tree in this new Jersey Forest was like, “Bitch, you’re poisonous.”
I want to give another big thank you to Jackie for continuing to show her struggle with anorexia on TV, which is so real it’s fascinating but perhaps too real that it makes me very uncomfortable. Usually I hate when people have their therapist because all the work they can do if they’re on camera, but meeting her new therapist, Ilene, literally left me in tears. I don’t know if I was tired or if I just put my Diva Cup in my booty hole wrong (that’s where it’s at, right?), but I shed real tears watching RHONJ. I don’t want Jackie only going on a four-day vacation because she can’t control her meals. I don’t want her asking her husband if it’s okay for her to gain weight. And, for God’s sake, I don’t want her not eating ice cream when she goes out with her kids.
From OM to G, imagine if your therapy duty for the week was to go get an ice cream? I know it’s terrifying for Jackie, but something most of us try to do less frequently, she has to do it for the first time. How do you even start? Do you have to try all the flavors? Usually if you ask for more than one sample at Salt and Straw I want to give you the electric chair, but how does Jackie even know what she likes? I want an Instagram Live of this trip to Cold Stone Creamery (which is gross but feels very Jerz).
The big final scene of the episode is a softball game that Dolores arranged between “our group of friends” and the team of doctors from Maimonedes Health Center to raise money for breast cancer. We often see women hosting fundraisers, but this one is rare because it explicitly shows them as housewives. The draw of this event is that the fans come to see them play live at Coney Island, and you can tell it’s full of Bravo fans because I haven’t seen that many women in that stadium outside of the Mermaid Parade.
Other than a row in the locker room over which woman will wear Teresa’s leggings so she can sell more ‘for charity’, it’s just a cute event where everyone seems to get along and have a good time. moment. At the end, Jennifer even says it’s nice to belong for a change now that she hasn’t pissed everyone off in the group. Look, Jen. Not being an asshole all the time definitely has its perks.
It’s a great ending for the episode and a great callback to a season that was quite slanderous and split the cast into teams. Here they all make fun of Jennifer falling on her face trying to run for first base in Louboutin sneakers. Everyone curses Jackie, who played softball in high school, for missing an easy pop fly. They all celebrate when Luis throws a batter early. Say what you want about him, but this man has a good arm. It’s so much fun to laugh with the ladies and their husbands, whether it’s Joe Gorga showing his arms in his modified jersey or Tiki Barber saving the day and winning the match with a diving catch in the seventh. As the klieg lights above the field lit up, zapping millions of tiny insects and turning their charred corpses into bits of smoke, the summer evening faded into so much stale beer and so little dew depositing on the infield. Everyone jumps in their car and goes home after doing a good deed and playing a good game. The stars rest quietly in the sky that night and the globe tilts toward its poles, except at Teresa’s, where the world is still flat, and the sun doesn’t just revolve around the earth but around Teresa herself. same.